fraudstory:

richwhitelesbian:

i hope rick santorum is walking down the street and someone is walking the opposite way towards him and they both try to go around eachother the same direction and end up both looking like complete tools to all the cars driving by

I hope Rick Santorum orders a pizza and expects the pizza to be the best he’s ever eaten, but it is a very mediocre pizza and it ruins his day.

I hope Rick Santorum picks up a glass of what he expects to be orange juice but then it turns out to be milk and he gets that weird funny taste in his mouth and the accompanying sense of strangeness that comes from this event.

(via j-moriarty)